I’ve long believed that music is our first language. And I’m keen that you can add musical communication to your work and play. Why? Well, because it will most definitely support a shared understanding, greater connection and inclusive communication, particularly if you include musical communication in your play and interactions with children who have a language delay or a disability impacting their use of spoken words. Here’s a few ideas to play with to amplify your musical communication.
Engage in intentional listening
Being child-led starts with intentional listening. And intentional listening means listening to whole-body communication, not just voice or sound.
It’s movement, gesture, and all the music in between. Music and speech share overlapping neural networks in our brains, but in musical play, spoken words don’t have to be dominant. Speech prosody is full of music, such as contours of melody, pitch, rhythm and intonation. It’s these elements that we’re seeking in musical communication, no musical instrument skills required.
To hear all of this, we first need to talk and narrate less. We need to play like the child plays and follow their lead. In doing this, we’re listening for volume, pitch and intonation. We’re looking for gesture, movement and affect. To picture this, think about the musical exchanges we often have with babies, usually called parentese. Parents might offer sounds (coos, ooos, peek-a-boos) with a lot of exaggerated melody and responsive timing. This is an example of musical communication.
And when we’re using musical communication, we’re playing with affect attunement. That means we notice the feeling and ‘shape’ of someone’s communication and respond in a way that connects with them. Our communication is reciprocal, playful and musical and this can support connection and belonging. It’s why musical communication really matters.
2. Notice the patterns
Take a slow look. Go steady. Wait. Pause. From any of these, do what feels right for you. Then respond.
Notice what’s being repeated? Is the tempo changing? Where does the pitch go? Is there a melody? Is there a sound, gesture or movement the child keeps returning to? And can we play with that? More importantly, is it right to engage and play right now?
All of this means we’re making improvisational and creative musical decisions. We notice what the child is offering and consider what musical conditions might make musical communication possible. But before deciding how to respond, we need to notice and attune.
3. Respond with matching and mirroring
Back in the day, I’d record songs off the radio, then listen and listen and listen again. All so I can learn the words and the melody of the song. And it’s a bit like that in musical communication. We play, listen, play back, listen again. And in the play and play back, we’re matching and mirroring to engage in musical communication. So how do we do that?
Well, you can play back a little of what the child offered, for example, a sound, rhythm or movement they offered to you. Then listen again. See what happens. Then, you can try adding one more thing, I call this a TINY MOVE. It’s a very small variation, but not so much that you take over the play.
Parallel play in this match and mirror exchange can be best here. By that I mean playing side by side, not always face to face. Face-to-face can be too intense, a little bit like looking in a mirror for too long. There’s subtlety in how we match and mirror and it’s a skill to develop.
If the child moves away, that’s a response. If they become quieter, change pace, turn back, or offer something different, those are responses too. We reflect on the music we offered, and whether it was welcome. Sometimes the right response is to pause and carefully close the play.
You might sing a familiar melody if it feels right. But really notice when that shifts you into leading rather than following the play. In those early moments, we’re trying to understand the child’s musical communication, not set an expectation that they respond to ours. That expectation can feel like a demand, and it’s here that you can lose connection.
4. Exchange musical communication
When the child responds to your match-and-mirror offerings, you’re in musical communication. A reciprocal exchange that doesn’t necessarily need any words.
It might be sound play, movement, laughter, a shared rhythm, an imitated gesture, a change in facial expression, or more melody offered. The child is likely directing the play. Allow that and as the musical communication develops over time, you can offer your ‘music’ and see how it is received.
However, remember, this is about amplifying connection, belonging and inclusion. This is their play, and you’re learning their first language. Talk less, play more.
And remember, an exchange doesn’t have to look like a neat back-and-forth exchange. If they start to watch, pause or step away, they are likely communicating something important. It’s important to ‘listen’ to that and reflect the tiny moments before to understand it.
5. When might you use musical communication?
As a music therapist, I’d say, as much as you possibly can!
Of course, group play sometimes needs more structure. A song, a songbook, a nursery rhyme or a transition song can be exactly what’s needed. I’m not saying stop using any of those things. But when you know someone’s musical communication, you start to recognise when they’re part of shared play, with or without words. And that means, you can help other children engage in this too.
Some children won’t want to join in. They may observe or engage from the sidelines. That can be a meaningful way of participating. Sometimes we need time to understand other people’s communication before we can join in.
For a baby, a child who is not yet using spoken words, or someone whose disability affects their spoken communication, musical communication can help us understand more. The more we understand, the more possibilities we have to communicate, which supports our sense of belonging and inclusion.
Find the music in everyday interactions. Once you do, you won’t be able to unsee or unhear it. And it will add so much more to your everyday.
One thing to try tomorrow
In your early childhood space or disability support setting, choose one moment to listen more. Notice a rhythm, sound, gesture or movement. Pause. And if you think it will feel welcome, play back just a little of it with a match and mirror move. Then listen again.
You don’t have to make a whole song out of it. You’re looking for the music that’s already there. 1 minute a few times a day is all it needs.
